im cursed..

i just have to get something off my chest..

something really stupid and insane and childish..
but i feel like sharing it with you guys so that i can get it off my chest..

anyway, i have like an admiration for a certain guy.. i guess you can call it a crush. a freaking crush.. its stupid!

well, lately stupidity seems to be the theme in my life and this just strengthens that fact, a fact i wish to forget.

i have been crushless for a year now. yes, i have seen many cute guys here in my school but ive never really been hooked to just one person. well, there's xtiu but everyone's hooked on to him, so that dpesn't really count.

the thing is, i met him in class.. well, we didn't actually meet but i first saw him in class.
ive never seen him in school before. only in this particular class. plus he wasn't around on our first session for that class. he wasn't there when we introduced ourselves to each other. so we never really "met".

we don't talk to each other. im on the back most row and he seats in front. well, not really in front but on the second row. we never had a chance to interact.

anyway, he's my type.

my friends know what my type is.. so im not going to expound on that one.

hahaay..

he looks smart.. and reserved.. which is a big turn on for me.
plus he's my type..

then, just when i thought he was too reserved and suplado.. he animates huimself in front of the class in one of our presentations.. f*%k!!! gulay! that's another turn on..

then i had one freaking dream.. and he was in it.. waaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!! how i wish that dream could have been true. but i had that dream when i wasn't really this into him.. that time, i was just spotting him.. so i guess you can say that dream sealed it for me. the moment i woke up from that dream, he was officially my crush.

goodness! i see him everywhere.. just when i thought i could be safe from him, he just pops out.

im not the type of girl who follows or chases the apple of her eye or whatever. i try my best to avoid the person so that i can spare myself the sensation i feel everytime i see him. i wont bother to explain whatever sensation ithat is pero there is one.

he seems really nice and his smile! ghad his smile! its really sincere and cute! haaaaaaaay.. how i wish that smile would be meant only for me..
but that's never gonna happen..

freak it! i dont even know his name..

well, i think i have an idea pero.. i dont really wanna know his name.. so id like to keep it that way. id like to keep it just as it is--an idea.

anyway, im never gonna see him again.. i hope so..
having a crush is the last thing i need in college right now..

i dont wanna go over board anymore.. and f*#k it! i dont wanna grow pimples!!!

but i feel like im really cursed.. cursed! cursed! damn it!

anyway, on another note.. im going home tomorrow!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
thats great!
i need to get that person off my mind anyway..

cdo, here i come!!!!!!!!! :)