shallow
I feel like I am one shallow person. All I ever blog about are my feelings. About Boys. And their incessant need to make me feel all tingly and confused, without necessarily meaning to. And for a person who supposedly does not want to be burdened with the nuances of feelings and love, I talk about it way too much.
There are alot of things going on in the world. Like that massacre in Syria or the PDAF or Poverty or a whole lot of other topics which I should discuss. But the thing about having any kind of opinion about these things are you have to get your facts right to make an informed choice but as much as I surf the internet on a regular basis, ensuring that the facts I come across are legit is a tasking job I don't want to tackle simple because it's boring. Haha.
Anyway, pursuant to my shallowness, I shall now proceed to discuss another person who recently made me feel all tingly and confused. Again, someone who didn't mean to.
I realized, that in my limited exposure to guys I sincerely am attracted to, that I am very vulnerable towards funny guys. The fact that they can make me laugh on a regular basis will soon have me swooning at their very presence. Again, without really meaning to.
This guy I very recently liked, is one guy every girl should be loved by. He is just the consummate gentleman. His chivalry is sincere because he doesn't really do it to score girls because he is so much dedicated to the one love of his life that he doesn't really go out there to attract them girls like bees. He is also very funny. I laugh everytime he's around. He's just like one be lump of funny and happiness. And. Sunshine. Because he's just happy like that. But he also has this really serious side to him in the way that he cares for his friends and his brothers. As such, being one big ball of sunshine and his sincere affections towards his friends, he has been one big wall of emotional support for pretty much everybody. Rarely, does he express his concerns or his personal feelings and struggles to anybody else. He keeps it to himself. To his detriment. Because how can one sustain feeding hordes of people emotionally stability when your own is at stake?
His heart has recently been broken. He's been single, technically, for a few years now but he has since been emotionally unavailable for any sort of attachment because he has retained a pseudo-relationship with his ex-girlfriend. But things spiraled into bleakness when finally the girl decided to have some legit relationship somewhere else where distance is not something to overcome. They had a long-distance pseudo-relationship for a time.
I think I get why the girl finally decided to end things. As one who had a weird set-up with my ex-crush/first love regarding distance and the ambiguity of the status of a relationship, I would get why she would try to cut-off whatever it was they had and start over. I'm sure it was not without cost to her own feelings. I'm pretty sure she still has affections for him but since it's the guy who is my friend, I feel compelled to be antagonistic against her. For more, I feel for my guy friend and his heartbreak although he tries very hard to not entertain painful thoughts about it.
So there were moments and then there were thoughts where only he and his predicament occupied my mind. At first it was because I thought I felt hurt and worry over him and then slowly I began to feel things and to care and it was only 3 days but I showed signs of falling so I pulled myself up and brushed it off. I sincerely do not want to burden him with my feelings because he'd feel guilty about not taking responsibility for it because he can never admit any other girl into his heart whilst he is grieving for his lost long-term love. So, I decided it was better to end things, at least on my part, before things got out of hand and I be consumed by my feelings.
I pray he finds peace and happiness with a beautiful, kind girl soon. And someone is just around the corner to do so and if God would will it, I hope their love team progresses into genuine affection. Naks.
Goodbye, Almost Infatuation. God bless you and your heart.
There are alot of things going on in the world. Like that massacre in Syria or the PDAF or Poverty or a whole lot of other topics which I should discuss. But the thing about having any kind of opinion about these things are you have to get your facts right to make an informed choice but as much as I surf the internet on a regular basis, ensuring that the facts I come across are legit is a tasking job I don't want to tackle simple because it's boring. Haha.
Anyway, pursuant to my shallowness, I shall now proceed to discuss another person who recently made me feel all tingly and confused. Again, someone who didn't mean to.
I realized, that in my limited exposure to guys I sincerely am attracted to, that I am very vulnerable towards funny guys. The fact that they can make me laugh on a regular basis will soon have me swooning at their very presence. Again, without really meaning to.
This guy I very recently liked, is one guy every girl should be loved by. He is just the consummate gentleman. His chivalry is sincere because he doesn't really do it to score girls because he is so much dedicated to the one love of his life that he doesn't really go out there to attract them girls like bees. He is also very funny. I laugh everytime he's around. He's just like one be lump of funny and happiness. And. Sunshine. Because he's just happy like that. But he also has this really serious side to him in the way that he cares for his friends and his brothers. As such, being one big ball of sunshine and his sincere affections towards his friends, he has been one big wall of emotional support for pretty much everybody. Rarely, does he express his concerns or his personal feelings and struggles to anybody else. He keeps it to himself. To his detriment. Because how can one sustain feeding hordes of people emotionally stability when your own is at stake?
His heart has recently been broken. He's been single, technically, for a few years now but he has since been emotionally unavailable for any sort of attachment because he has retained a pseudo-relationship with his ex-girlfriend. But things spiraled into bleakness when finally the girl decided to have some legit relationship somewhere else where distance is not something to overcome. They had a long-distance pseudo-relationship for a time.
I think I get why the girl finally decided to end things. As one who had a weird set-up with my ex-crush/first love regarding distance and the ambiguity of the status of a relationship, I would get why she would try to cut-off whatever it was they had and start over. I'm sure it was not without cost to her own feelings. I'm pretty sure she still has affections for him but since it's the guy who is my friend, I feel compelled to be antagonistic against her. For more, I feel for my guy friend and his heartbreak although he tries very hard to not entertain painful thoughts about it.
So there were moments and then there were thoughts where only he and his predicament occupied my mind. At first it was because I thought I felt hurt and worry over him and then slowly I began to feel things and to care and it was only 3 days but I showed signs of falling so I pulled myself up and brushed it off. I sincerely do not want to burden him with my feelings because he'd feel guilty about not taking responsibility for it because he can never admit any other girl into his heart whilst he is grieving for his lost long-term love. So, I decided it was better to end things, at least on my part, before things got out of hand and I be consumed by my feelings.
I pray he finds peace and happiness with a beautiful, kind girl soon. And someone is just around the corner to do so and if God would will it, I hope their love team progresses into genuine affection. Naks.
Goodbye, Almost Infatuation. God bless you and your heart.
Comments