a moment of alienation

the effect of sleep deficiency varies for every individual. In my case, it got a little psychological. i got to see my reflection in the mirror earlier  and its not like i haven't been seeing "myself" for the most part of my life but it struck me as to why the image i was seeing was to be "me". 

it led me to wonder why i look liked it. why i looked that way. why that reflection represented "me" to society, to my family and to my peers. it felt a little awkward how "i" could be easily summed up or dismissed basing only on that visual image the rest of the human race could perceive of me. 

why is this "me"? it felt as if that face on the mirror didn't belong to me. like it was someone else i did not know who. perhaps we all have our own self-image imprinted in our own minds but for my part, i actually don't have any--or perhaps i do but seeing that my mind has too much clutter inside it, its actually bothersome and rather difficult to even bother. so i sort of found it unfair that other people had some image of me while i do not have any for myself. or that these people can easily see "me" and yet, i on the other hand, have the rest of my life to discover my "true" self. 

somehow..

i just felt that the person opposite me in front of that mirror was some person whom i have been seeing everyday for the past 18 years of my life yet for some reason, have remained to be a stranger to me.