i miss those days when i still knew how to write

back in high school, i was the associate editor of our official school publication.
back in high school, i won all the essay writing contests i joined.
back in high school, i aced every paper i passed in class.
back in high school, i took pride in the fact that i can make a masterpiece out of pure words.
back in high school, everything i wrote (or maybe so i thought) made sense.
back in high school, i was a writer.

so i guess the title of this post should be "back in high school". but really. back in high school i knew how to write a nice and sensible article. sensible in a way that even my teachers would find very tasteful. now however, i dont even know when to put a comma or when to end a very long compounded sentence. i dont even know when to use capital letters anymore. i even had a hard time with my ENG 11 in college. where oh where did the writer in me go? i miss her.

i bumped into the multiply site of one of my former editors in high school, back when i was still a novice in writing. i was reading his blog entries and i remember the feeling of admiration when i first read an article he wrote around four or five years ago. his work hasn't changed, its still good. really good. i remember then, i told myself that i would write a good article such as his or probably an even better one. i think at some point i was successful in doing so but right now all i have are just fragments of the moments when i really did, when i was able to write an even better article than his. and now i can't even get to make a nice piece out of all these. i don't even know if i make sense.

back in high school, i knew just how to jumble words so that a simple sentence may sound like it came from a different world. now it seems that everytime i try to string together words, all i come up with is crap.

i don't remember ever being taught exactly how to write. my journey as a student writer was very simple. so simple even i have forgotten about it. i rarely joined writing workshops. i think ive only been to two. now im in college and the whole writing environment has changed. now i want to get in touch with my writing again. but i don't think im skilled enough to join the pool of writers here in the Ateneo. its gotten up a notch but im here, trying to bring back the old glory days of my words.

i miss writing. ive almost always taken for granted everytime my work gets published but now i miss it.
and now i miss those days when i can make one decent article.

i miss those days when i still knew how to write