i want to disappear
last night, i was feeling lazy and lonely.
so i spent my time watching Grey's anatomy.
one episode struck me the most. it was probably the 16th episode.
(by the way, i started at about 7pm.. with episode 8.. then ended at about 4am in the middle of the 17th episode..)
anyway, Meredith said she wanted to disappear. just disappear.
i think id like that too.
i want to disappear..
but i didn't like how she disappeared..
she died you know.. well, almost.. and before she realized she had to go back and "reappear" she had to struggle alot..
now, i don't like that.. but i really want to disappear..
i often say to myself, if i was ever to be reincarnated i want to be NOTHING..
often, when you ask people what they want to become if ever they get reincarnated they'd say something like "i want to be a tree! so that i can stand my ground everytime" or "i want to be a bird so that i can fly.." or "i want to be a butterfly, i want to make flowers more beautiful.." or whatever.. i, on the other hand, dont want ot be anything.. i want to be nothing.. NOTHING..
i mean, who wants to be a tree?? do you want to be chopped down?? (illegal logging remember?!) you want to be a bird, so that you cause and spread a world wide disease? (bird flu) or you want to get shot by hunters or something? after all, your home would have been chopped down.. (trees-- illegal logging). you wish to be a butterfly, yeah right so that after a few days, after all your struggle as a caterpillar, you die? besides, at the rate the human world is going, you won't find a land full of flowers..
eveyrthing has its pros and cons! where as if you were nothing, your nothing! i mean you wouldn't feel anything.. you're not even aware of your own existence! i mean your NOTHING!
you are of no color.. your not good nor bad.. your just nothing! you wont have to get hungry or full.. you dont have pretty or hedious.. your nothing! you dont have to worry about anything!
that's what i want to be.. i want to be nothing.. i wnt not to feel pain or hurt or life or anything.. and i dont want to feel that i dont feel those things.. i dont want to be anything.. its better off as im nothing..
so i dont really want to disappear.. coz that would have meant that "appeared".. appearing in this world is tragic.. apearing in this world would mean that i have been exposed to alot of difficult and worldly things.. i want to spare myself form such experience next time.. oh wait! there wont be any next time.. by that time i would have been nothing! unaware of the existence of the world as well as my past.. i would then be nothing!
so i spent my time watching Grey's anatomy.
one episode struck me the most. it was probably the 16th episode.
(by the way, i started at about 7pm.. with episode 8.. then ended at about 4am in the middle of the 17th episode..)
anyway, Meredith said she wanted to disappear. just disappear.
i think id like that too.
i want to disappear..
but i didn't like how she disappeared..
she died you know.. well, almost.. and before she realized she had to go back and "reappear" she had to struggle alot..
now, i don't like that.. but i really want to disappear..
i often say to myself, if i was ever to be reincarnated i want to be NOTHING..
often, when you ask people what they want to become if ever they get reincarnated they'd say something like "i want to be a tree! so that i can stand my ground everytime" or "i want to be a bird so that i can fly.." or "i want to be a butterfly, i want to make flowers more beautiful.." or whatever.. i, on the other hand, dont want ot be anything.. i want to be nothing.. NOTHING..
i mean, who wants to be a tree?? do you want to be chopped down?? (illegal logging remember?!) you want to be a bird, so that you cause and spread a world wide disease? (bird flu) or you want to get shot by hunters or something? after all, your home would have been chopped down.. (trees-- illegal logging). you wish to be a butterfly, yeah right so that after a few days, after all your struggle as a caterpillar, you die? besides, at the rate the human world is going, you won't find a land full of flowers..
eveyrthing has its pros and cons! where as if you were nothing, your nothing! i mean you wouldn't feel anything.. you're not even aware of your own existence! i mean your NOTHING!
you are of no color.. your not good nor bad.. your just nothing! you wont have to get hungry or full.. you dont have pretty or hedious.. your nothing! you dont have to worry about anything!
that's what i want to be.. i want to be nothing.. i wnt not to feel pain or hurt or life or anything.. and i dont want to feel that i dont feel those things.. i dont want to be anything.. its better off as im nothing..
so i dont really want to disappear.. coz that would have meant that "appeared".. appearing in this world is tragic.. apearing in this world would mean that i have been exposed to alot of difficult and worldly things.. i want to spare myself form such experience next time.. oh wait! there wont be any next time.. by that time i would have been nothing! unaware of the existence of the world as well as my past.. i would then be nothing!
Comments